Really....?

So where is it written that if you say no to attend a function that you are automatically kept at a arms length and why is it that rather than share the meaning of the little quirky, function related comments, it cannot be explained to you or shared in a manner that doesn't leave you feeling left out or even punished for trying to hear God on whether you should have went in the first place. What - you couldn't try and bring in those who weren't there? AND,using the old saying "you just had to be there" is a lame excuse... what if Christ would have told us towards the back of the book..." Oh, and by the way, you'll never get all of this...you just had to be there"...
I am just saying...it can spoils a girls desire to do anything else with the group... seriously, it could...