So Long Summer.......

The weather is getting unpredictable and so we pull out the rubber boots and umbrellas. Ladybugs and frogs..... I love the fall.

no onions, please....

It is official. I cannot eat onions. I cannot eat walnuts. I cannot eat macadamia nuts. I cannot eat but minimal refined sugar. I cannot live thru a bee sting, and I cannot have caffinated drinks after 7pm if I want to sleep through the night.
I made a WONDERFUL pot roast on Sunday with carrots, onions, potatoes, and a roast as big as a "POT". 20minutes after I ate it all went bad. I did not eat the onions, however, I cooked them in the roast. From around 2 in the afternoon until around 9pm last night I experienced a migraine headache and puked my guts out. Graphic.... but true. Now, if I could get the bad for me food to do this and not the good for me food I could loose about a thousand pounds!!! JK!!!

I wonder what people I am allergic to.......Hmmmm

Our little boy Aaron.........

So..... meet my son Aaron Emery Coleman.
He is 25 years old physically, but his soul is much older! He has several tattoo's and "markings" that some define as 'ungodly'. I wonder what their hidden tattoo's and markings of their life could be defined as......Hmmmm.
It's a thought we should all think about.
Who is God to you and how you define the path for you is not the same for everyone. I know Aaron loves the Lord with all his heart, and I know he may not be on the path I think he should be....... still, he loves the Lord with all his heart. I need to pray that the Lord would take the me out of my opinion and so I can be filled with the unconditional part of God in my life that I am called to pray with.
And I need to pray for him more. Not to change him or his direction. I need to pray for his hearing ear and willing heart. Abandonment and surrendor are the hardest of many calls God has for each of us. If you've read my recent posts you know that is something I am walking through right now.
So, here is my beautiful son. So talented, so blessed, so loved, and although he has his choice of 'markings' - they are who he is and I love him......more than he will ever be able to conceive. To infinity and beyond...................... I hope you get to meet him someday if you haven't already. He's a really nice guy. Really nice.

My best side....

Whew......... ! Do you not love a man in uniform? He is about to turn 50 and it still feels like the day he asked me to dance! Or even the day each of our kids were born......Wow..... I am blessed!

I am sooo not in control....

I am captivated by a scripture I read last week and I can't get it out of my head. It's one of those passages that I think I would have tattooed on each of my beautiful children's foreheads if they'd of let me.

"Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don't get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil." Proverb 4:25-27 NLT

Safe path. Not necessarily saying not to take risks. Just stay where he leads you. What kid can do that, I ask? At any age!!?
Mark out a path?! You mean I have to work at this? AND not get distracted?!

I read a wonderful young woman's blog today about prayer. It is so true that the one thing about being a believer never varies: Prayer.
You can pray a lot of different ways but He still hears us and He still responds. No matter what our disposition is. It is a wonderful wonderful thing....prayer.

Change is good....

I have found myself in a new place in my life. I am loving being a 'Nana' and adjusting to adult like children and watching God touch their lives - as they allow Him to.... but as for me, change and perhaps a new adventure. Hopefully growth.

I believe change to be good. I also believe it can stretch our character to places we had no idea existed.
For me, I have always said 'yes' and rarely 'no' to most challenges presented my way. Always been the volunteer, cook, babysitter, surrogate whatever, etc., and .........always, yes always, tried to do this without motive other than to bless others. You know, the golden rule thing.
Regardless of what anyone thought or thinks - it's true.

Well.... I am taking a break from this character trait for a season.
In the past, I have been lulled into all kinds of things that have not always been God's choice, but my own. Oh I am not saying it was for personal gain at any time, I am saying that maybe.....I occasionally jumped to the 'yes' before I really allowed God's direction in the matter.
I cannot honestly say that I have come to this without a circumstance or two which I allowed myself to be upset about, however, I know that God's plan is not my plan and if I want to resume the same 'as unto the Lord' attitude with even more passion than before, I need to step back and allow myself some ministry.
You see, there are people who have always come to your side, held your arms in the hour of your weakness, quietly cleaned up after your joys, standing back - yet at your reach, allowed you your grief, brought the basket full to your table, prayed hours on your behalf, and laughed with unspeakable joy with your families...... now, I need this from you. I am tired. I am weary. I feel weak. Even broken.
Funny, I still feel like a strong, empowered woman of God. Still hearing His voice, feeling the power of His spirit, even willing to 'go' when he calls and bending a knee for others when tugged.
I just need some spiritual respite and space.
For a few in my life....
I need time to forgive..... you and especially myself.

Being hurt or allowing yourself to be hurt or whatever definition you may hold to be true.... it can hold you back if you let it. Some say the problem lies in the fact you let it hurt you. Some say the solution is to give it to the Lord and it shouldn't be a hurting factor any longer - only a tool of growth used for personal reflection and an example for yourself and others to learn from.

I say sometimes it's just a hurt.
Don't try to figure it out or name it.
It's something to bring us to the place where we cry because we need to.
A place where we shout or stomp, or maybe stand still and take a deep breath we hadn't realized we truly needed.
It's a hurt.
It needs healing like a cut that at first stings, then bleeds, then remains a little sore while the scab forms, bringing new growth from the inside out, then comes the itch of repair and healing, and finally a little scar to remind us of how it all happened in the first place and maybe, hopefully, the realization of how to avoid it happening again.
Whether you stand and cry in the corner or yell at the car crowding your lane or better yet, take that deep breath and ask God for whatever you think you need to pull through the hurt and healing process........ it still hurts. It's supposed to.
Grow from it.
But listen to your heart. Listen to the Holy Spirit lead you through it as I hope to.
Don't spend time on it, don't give in to the hurt, seek the healing.
Know the grow time is on it's way. Take joy in knowing God is empowering you with yet another tool to spread the gospel with or maybe it's just for you.

For now, I find peace in knowing that I need to be quite. Really, quiet and even 'thoughtless'. I am not backsliding or mad at God or ready to give up the commitment of my passion to walk with Christ.
I am waiting on the Lord..... looking for the place of abandonment and surrendor to Him...... wait with me........ just like in times you've needed me, I need you. xo
"for without conflict there is no growth...."nkjv

No pictures, no quirky antic dotes, no new surprises, just an entry to keep it going..............